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Houses of Horror0

If you’re like me, you like to stretch your dollars when it comes to Do-It-Yourself projects.  As a result, like me,  you have a tendency to keep every spare part or scrap of lumber leftover from a project in case it might be usable on the next one.  I have boxes of leftover hardware, a huge bin of mismatched molding, and a wall full of sheet goods like plywood and metal roofing.  My wife gets into the act when she buys stuff for projects that will not get done for six months and stores it in the garage, so the whole thing ends up looking like a mini Home Depot, but not  as organized. 

While I am truly embarrassed to open the garage door some days because the neighbors will be horrified, I had no idea that my obsession is nothing compared to the people featured on  Hoarders,  a show on the A&E network that profiles people who ruin their homes by  keeping every piece of junk they ever laid their hands on.  One lady even had two dead cats amongst the the crap. How did she not smell that?

The show has turned into a bit of a guilty pleasure for me.  Each episode brings out a more vile way to destroy a perfectly good house.  Or maybe, I’m just starting to enjoy the gag reflex I get every time I watch.   It is a truly horrifying experience when you think about what your house could look like. 

Episode 7 has to be one of my favorites.  We still joke about the ranch dressing that lady kept by her living room chair.  And check out the interactive Digital Room feature on the A&E web site – you can pick items from a hoarder’s room and the website will give you the rationalization the person gave for keeping the item.

Obviously these people are truly not right, but it will make you feel like your garage really isn’t that bad.  Maybe I’ll go throw out that last two feet of corner molding I’m hanging on to from the last room remodel.  Or maybe, I’ll just go watch some TV –  Hoarders is on tonight!

by Jon Burke

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