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Unique Patriotic Statements0

Today is the ninth anniversary of 9/11.  Homeowners across the county will be dusting off their American flag t-shirts and stringing up Old Glory to wave in front of the house.   Some people, however, don’t have the space for a pole, the know-how to install a pole, or even a smaller spot to fly that flag. Instead, they show their pride in other ways — including some completely bizarre ones. Here are a few of my favorites . . .

American Flag Doormat: I get it. It’s a doormat, and sort of a pretty one at that. It even sports the family name. However, I’ve always found it weird that people would wipe their feet on the American flag instead of that precious shag carpet.

American Flag Cooler:  It’s easy to match plates, tablecloths, napkins, toothpicks and everything else for a July 4 party. However, blowing up the flag and filling it with Pabst Blue Ribbon? That’s the epitome of the American way in an inflatable package.

American Flag Car:  When I went searching for this item, there were too many flag-flanked cars to even count. You’d expect this decor to be one of the last resorts, right before duct tape. Instead, I found a lot of insanely nice cars — cars that are more expensive than my house.

American Flag Wedding Dress:  I couldn’t picture any scenario where this would be deemed necessary or acceptable. Wait a minute. . .maybe . . . no, I’ve got nothing.

President Chia Head:  In case the Statue of Liberty Chia isn’t patriotic enough, we have one of our Commander in Chief. Available in “determined” and “happy” models, when this product first hit, stores pulled them from the shelves because of racism complaints. Shouldn’t good taste have been a good enough measure? 

by Rachel Cericola

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