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Vanilla Ice Raps for DIY Network

During his 2004 stint on The Surreal Life, ’90s pop star Vanilla Ice was known for punching a hole in more than a few walls. Now, he wants to show you how to fix them.

Vanilla Ice, whose real name is Robert Van Winkle, will front a new show for the DIY Network. It’s called the The Vanilla Ice Project,  a title as fresh as a pair of parachute pants. If they had asked me, I’d have picked up something from his hit list:

Ice Is Workin’ It

It’s A [Work] Party

Son Of A [Staple] Gun

To the Extreme [Makeover]

OK. Maybe not.

While none of those titles would allow me to take this show seriously, Ice is like a heart attack when talking about home renovation. According to the network’s release, he’s self-taught. Guess there was a lot of downtime in between hit records.

So we can all expect Ice to show off his non-rapping skills, as he spends 10 episodes performing a complete overhaul of a six-bedroom, five-bathroom house. Apparently, flipping foreclosures and other older homes has become Ice’s full-time gig — well, until he goes back on TV.

Look for The Vanilla Ice Project to premiere Thursday, October 14 at 9:00 p.m. (EST) on the DIY Network. Word to your mother.

by Rachel Cericola

Ty Pennington Plans to Talk

ABC can’t give out those free homes forever, you know. Come 2012, Ty Pennington’s contract will be up with the network, leaving many to wonder about the future of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

Whether the show stays or goes, you certainly won’t have to worry about Pennington. He is taking his high-energy demeanor to daytime audiences, with plans to helm his very own talk show. The coffee crowd and Pennington? Sounds like a perfect match.

Will the show’s producers have to “move that bus” and the rest of the Extreme Makeover cast off the ABC lot? Maybe not.

According to Deadline, it’s highly possible that Pennington will keep his primetime gig as a fall back. We shall soon see. If they do decide to keep Extreme Makeover, they should really consider dropping the “Home Edition” part. Wasn’t the whole plastic surgery version like five years ago?

As far as Pennington’s new career path, this is good time to strike the daytime market. Oprah and Tyra are leaving a huge gap in the format. Go for it, Ty!

The big question is what will Ty do to entertain the masses? Will it involve construction? Will tears be shed? Will he administer a few paternity tests?

There’s no word on the format, but we should see fairly soon. If all goes well, Ty Pennington should hit daytime airwaves this fall.

by Rachel Cericola

[Photo: © ABC/Bob Mahoney]

Celine Dion: Wet & Wild!

Some people love the feeling of a waterbed and being soothed to sleep by gently moving water.   Celine Dion, it seems, has different idea about how to love water:  a personal waterpark on her 5.7 acre property that includes multiple slides, bathing areas, and a lazy river.  Think of it as like living on Fantasy Island. Da plane, boss!

 

Dion’s home and water playground is located on Jupiter Island, Florida.  It requires 6 wells and 500,000 gallons of water to maintain.  According to WPTV, neither the town government nor her neighbors are too happy.

Maybe she should fill the pools with money.  Apparently, that Titanic thing and her stint in Vegas left her with quite the overflow.

Still, the woman knows how to make a waffle and apparently knows her waterparks. Can you imagine the rounds of Marco Polo? They must have to send out a search party.   I bet her nine-year-old son is the most popular kid in class (as if he weren’t already.)

When everyone wants to just hang, there’s plenty of dry space for that, too. The main home features six bedrooms, eight full bathrooms, an elevator, a soundproof TV room, and multiple fireplaces. Outside, there are  guest quarters with another eight bedrooms, an outdoor spa, and tennis courts.  Dion is expecting twins in the fall.

by Rachel Cericola

Dad Uses Prize Money for Good Deeds

While you stare at unfinished home improvement projects from last summer, Charles Muller is about to start renovating his second building — and it’s all for charity.

Muller won the grand prize in the Sears “Unsung Heroes: Dads Making a Difference” contest. Sears says Muller was picked as one of the 10 finalists from over 125,000 entries. Then, America made him the winner.

 

What made him so deserving? Muller, a resident of Rensselaer, N.Y., took a run-down building and turned it into a place where poor children can get a meal. For his good deeds, Muller will get $30,000 worth of labor and materials from Sears. Of course, he isn’t letting that go to waste. His prize will be used to restore a local Boys and Girls Club. Without the renovations, the building would have to be closed.

“I am truly honored to have been selected as the winner, and am touched by the overwhelming support and votes I received from friends, family and members of my community,” said Muller. “I am very grateful to Sears for recognizing other dads and me for making a difference. I am excited to get started on restoring a building used by the local Boys and Girls club that is in desperate need of many repairs that they themselves cannot do alone.”

If you like a good Extreme Makeover-style story, head over to the Sears website to read more about Muller as well as the other finalists.

by Rachel Cericola

Pluto’s Dream House

I want a dream house.  I don’t think it’s too much to ask.  The people on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition get one.  Barbie has one (as does Ken in Toy Story 3.) And apparently even Pluto has one:

Damn it!  If Pluto gets a dream house, I should get one too!  It’s just not fair!

Though I could live without the life-threatening magic involved in poor Pluto’s case.  You would think that with the infinite power harnessed in that lamp a house would just appear.  Instead it has to conjure invisible tool – wielding demons to manufacture Pluto’s house.  Just this alone would make me call an Exorcist – after I changed my pants.

It’s hard enough to find a good contractor, let alone trust anything that calls invisible minions into our dimension – even if they are good at carpentry.

Though they did work for free . . . And in my current situation, that carries a lot of weight.

Of course, in the end it was all a dream – which is what my dream home will continue to be for the foreseeable future.  I’m a realist.  I know that I’ll need to fill up at least 8,000,000,000,000,000,000 more penny jars before I can even hope to make a down payment.  But a kid can always dream . . .

by John Barker

Ashley Olsen Wants a Furniture Line

Apparently, the Olsen twins need more money to count — or at least Ashley does. At a recent New York City party, one half of the mini mogul team was talking up the current Olsen brand and how the pair could branch out.

“It’s really getting to the point where it’s becoming a lifestyle brand,” she said, adding that she would like to add furniture into that mix.

Yes, the Olsens are a brand. Most of us know about the Full House thing, as well as a boatload of TV shows and direct-to-video movies, such as To Grandmother’s House We Go. [Yes, you know that movie. Admit it!] The two also have clothing, jewelry, and much more.

The Elizabeth and James clothing line is named after two non-twin Olsen siblings and includes contemporary fashions for men and women, including jewelry and shoes. They also launched Olsenboye at JC Penney earlier this year, which is a clothing line for juniors inspired by different cities around the world.  

So, what’s the problem? As Shelterpop points out, the twins already have  their names plastered on furniture. The collection has a just a few pieces, geared toward their ‘tween/teen audience. 

I’m guessing the next venture will be more extensively home furnishings - and all grown up.  

[Photo by Rafy – © 2004 Warner Bros. Pictures. All rights reserved.]

by Rachel Cericola

Home Improvement – Duh!

The TV show Home Improvement, starring Tim Allen as handyman Tim Taylor, is a shining example of what not to do when performing renovations of any type—anywhere.  And it’s funny!

The misadventures of Tim Taylor entertained viewers for 8 seasons—quite a long run for a family-oriented television series.  Tim was known, and loved, for his ineptness while using any type of tool.  Many times—actually most of the time—his actions would end in bodily harm, to himself or others.  I think it was some of the best slapstick comedy ever to appear on television.

For your entertainment (and as a safety lesson), I found a montage of clips from the show demonstrating Tim’s . . . luck when attempting home improvement.
L

Like the Roadrunner, this guy just never gives up – no matter what happens.

What I find scary about this clip is that I’m just about as bad as Tim.  I’ve fallen off of ladders, been hit by 220 volt charges (not once, but twice—and the second time it sent me flying off of a ladder), almost chopped my leg off with a chainsaw, walked into multiple walls, etc.  In hindsight, I’m glad I’m still alive.

One of the hidden beauties of Home Improvement is that it is a cautionary tale.  Watch the show—then do pretty much exactly the opposite of what Tim Taylor does.

You’ll live longer that way.

Have a nice weekend!

by John Barker

Babs Sings About Interior Design

We know it’s fairly easy for a celebrity to get a book deal. However, this might be completely ridiculous. Barbra Streisand will soon have her own book about interior design.

Streisand on singing? Let’s hear it. However, feng sheui seems a bit far-fetched.

According to Amazon, however, Streisand’s book is coming out this fall. My Passion for Designis Babs’ first book, and it seems like the fancy-schmancy type that you might want to put out on a coffee table. Of course, that is if you are eager to show the world that you trust Barbra Streisand for your decorating choices.

Inside, you’ll find an insane amount of real estate and decorations. The book promises plenty of architecture, as well as furniture, knickknacks, and even plush gardens. My house is barely worth the cost of the paper this thing will be printed on.

Of course, Streisand also spends a few pages pontificating about her childhood, her style, and even how she’s hoarded various items over the years — as well as what that means to her. In other words, fans will eat this stuff up. Why wouldn’t they? This is probably be the closest to Streisand most will ever get.

Just be prepared to pay for that privilege. Amazon is currently taking pre-orders for $38. Expect the book to hit the stands on November 16, 2010.

by Rachel Cericola

Tools of Star Trek

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/purpleslog/231478071/

Last night,  I was watching  Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and a guy in the Enterprise’s engineering section walked by carrying odd looking tool.  It sort of looked like a drill, but where the bit would be there was a long, beveled stick of glass.

This got me to wondering what kinds of tools there might be in a fictional world of the future.  Sure, we all know about tricorders, communicators, and phasers.  But what does Captain Kirk use when he has to fix a leaky pipe under his bathroom sink?

I dug around a bit and stumbled into Memory Alpha,  a Star Trek Wiki.  An extensive list of tools can be found here, but not too many included a detailed definition about what the tool is specifically used for.

So, for the sake of argument, let’s just say that Captain Kirk has a plumbing issue.  We’ll stick with the leaky pipe.

First, he would use a dynoscanner (which detects low-level molecular activity) to pinpoint the location of the leak.

Then, he’d turn off the water.  I couldn’t find a tool for this, so let’s just say he uses a wrench.

Then, using a bi-polar torch (useful for cutting through all sorts of materials, including Cardassian Toranium), he would remove the section of pipe that sports the leak.

Part in hand, Kirk then has Scotty beam him down to the nearest hardware store (we’re just gonna assume that the Enterprise is orbiting a planet with sufficient technology to have hardware stores).  With a little help from a kindly customer service representative, he finds a leak-free replacement pipe.

In no time at all,  our intrepid captain is back in his bathroom, head under the sink.  He fits the new pipe in to place and then uses a laser welder (which does pretty much what it sounds like it should) to attach it to the existing plumbing.

If only it were that easy in my world.  It took me two days to do the plumbing for my kitchen sink—with a full two hours spent staring at the myriad of connections dangling in little plastic bags at a certain mega-hardware store.

And the more I think about it, Kirk would probably just have someone from Engineering come up and fix the pipe.  He is the captain, after all. . .

by John Barker

Happy Father’s Day!

Looking for a last minute gift idea?  If so, and if you have an extra $75 million handy, can you please adopt me as your father?  Then we can live happily ever after in this little hovel just outside of Orlando, Florida:

But wait.  No.  I don’t think I could handle living in such a small place.  I mean, s**t.  It only has 30 bedrooms.  Where will Scotty (my third cousin, twice removed—and possibly dead since last time I heard from him) stay if he comes to visit?

At least the 23 bathrooms would make it too hard to choose where to read the paper each morning.  They all have Jacuzzis, by the way.

But parking would be no problem;  the garage is designed to hold 20 cars.

You know I’m house hunting, right?  I suppose you could talk me into this one, if I happen to be in a good mood.

There’s plenty to do thanks to the built-in roller rink, bowling alley, ballroom, and theater.  When we want some sun, we can hang out by one of the three (!) swimming pools, hit some balls at the baseball field (or two tennis courts), or visit the rock grotto with three built in spas—behind an 80-foot waterfall.

And no—I’m not making this up.

When you get hungry you can wander around this giant expanse until you stumble onto one of 10 kitchens, or quench your thirst in the two-story wine cellar.

Yeah, you read that right.  TWO-STORY WINE CELLAR.

Houses like this scare me, if only because being alone in it would be akin to walking into an international airport empty of all workers and travelers . . . like a Twilight Zone episode. 

And by the way, I’ve heard this mansion is a bit of fixer-upper.  Estimates are that another $25 million is needed to make the place livable.

But that’s OK.  We’re fixer-uppers.  Right? 

Now stop reading blogs and go out to do something fatherly.

by John Barker

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