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Screw Ups

Things Not to Do With a Fish Tank

Fish tanks are a beautiful and cost-effective way to brighten up a home.  But—if you’re stupid enough—they can get pretty darned expensive thanks to water damage.

Take this kid, for example:

 

Okay—that was an honest accident.  I suspect the kid will be more careful next time he’s flexing his massive guns around glass objects.

But this next video . . .well, some people are just stupid on purpose.  Best guide the kiddies out of the room for this one—it ends with a naughty word.  And if you’re in PETA, avoid this video altogether.

The results were predictable, though I thought for sure those fish were goners.  I like being wrong about things like that.

Then you have the random factor that is a cat.  As I write this, my 25-pound furry buddy (Buster) is trying to squeeze behind the entertainment center – and, like an octopus, he is somehow compressing his body to the thickness of a sheet of paper.  In other words, he’s succeeding.  And in a minute or two I’m gonna have to get up and pull his fat ass out because he’ll get stuck.  He’s done this before.

But I digress.  This next video shows you why I currently don’t have a fish tank:

That could have ended a lot worse.  If a cat the size of mine did that, there would be glass, water, and fish all over the floor.

I guess there’s a little lesson in here somewhere.  Buy a fish tank.  Enjoy its beauty.  But, unless you have flood insurance, don’t go swingin’ heavy stuff around it, blowing it up, or allowing your cat a preview of the night’s menu.

by John Barker

Written by editor on September 3, 2010 at 10:26 am
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Bug Bomb Fun

Fumigating your house is not fun.  You can make it fun by holding some sort of beer bash in your garage while the bug bombs go off, I suppose.  At least that’s what I do.  Having a Cornhole tournament usually gets things going nicely.

Nonetheless, I think we can all agree that bug bombing is an annoyance.  What I didn’t know, however, is that it can also be explosive:

Something smells a little fishy to me.  I’ve never had a random pilot light problem.  In fact, I spent much of yesterday trying to figure out how to turn ona pilot light in a professional gas oven/stove.  Hint to me in case I forget: it’s waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay in the back and can only be reached if you shrink to the size of an atom.

Sorry . . . got distracted.

The bug bombs I’ve used in the past wouldn’t ignite anything.  They just sprayed a huge cloud of gas all over the place.  Call me naive, but I’ve never seen any bug bombs that had to be lit like something from a fireworks factory until I sat down and started working on this article.

I’m not leaving any ignited substance unattended in my house.  That’s just. . . well, it’s just crazy.

While the guy above obviously didn’t have much fun with his bug bomb, this guy used his experience as inspiration:

If only it were that easy…

And then you have The Mythbusters.  Bug bombs inspired them in a slightly different manner.  And, if you watch that show, you know there always something that’s gonna blow up.

God, I’d love that job. . .

by John Barker

Written by editor on August 22, 2010 at 10:29 am
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Home Improvement – Duh!

The TV show Home Improvement, starring Tim Allen as handyman Tim Taylor, is a shining example of what not to do when performing renovations of any type—anywhere.  And it’s funny!

The misadventures of Tim Taylor entertained viewers for 8 seasons—quite a long run for a family-oriented television series.  Tim was known, and loved, for his ineptness while using any type of tool.  Many times—actually most of the time—his actions would end in bodily harm, to himself or others.  I think it was some of the best slapstick comedy ever to appear on television.

For your entertainment (and as a safety lesson), I found a montage of clips from the show demonstrating Tim’s . . . luck when attempting home improvement.
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Like the Roadrunner, this guy just never gives up – no matter what happens.

What I find scary about this clip is that I’m just about as bad as Tim.  I’ve fallen off of ladders, been hit by 220 volt charges (not once, but twice—and the second time it sent me flying off of a ladder), almost chopped my leg off with a chainsaw, walked into multiple walls, etc.  In hindsight, I’m glad I’m still alive.

One of the hidden beauties of Home Improvement is that it is a cautionary tale.  Watch the show—then do pretty much exactly the opposite of what Tim Taylor does.

You’ll live longer that way.

Have a nice weekend!

by John Barker

Written by editor on July 18, 2010 at 10:16 am
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Home Service Offering Water Service

A company called Home Service is offering a product called Water Service. Sounds pretty straight up, eh?

According to the Home Service website, the company is in the business of emergency repairs. Now they are extending that offer to the water line at your house.

In case you didn’t know, YOU are responsible for the line that typically starts at the curb and brings fresh water into your home.  In other words, if soil changes, if the line is old, or if C.H.U.D.s. are out in full force – it’s on your dime. However, Home Service can take care of that hassle, as well as the hassle of the expense of unexpected repairs.

Swimming pools, Kitchens, Council flats and Karma by fabbio.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fabiovenni/1070549536/

“Emergencies do happen and unfortunately, there’s very little someone can do to prepare for them,” says Jonathan King, Home Service CEO. “Rather than having to scramble and pay thousands of dollars in the midst of a home emergency, Home Service takes care of the legwork from start to finish.”

Until now, Home Service partnered with homeowners exclusively via utility companies. Now select areas (Connecticut, Oklahoma, Colorado, South Carolina, Arizona, Michigan, Illinois, and Missouri) can contact them directly and cut out the middleman. They will start offering the Water Service Line Protection Plan via a direct-mail campaign. Sign up, pay a low monthly fee, and you’ll have access to  24-hour emergency services.

by Rachel Cericola

Written by editor on June 17, 2010 at 10:40 am
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Ceiling Saver

When I was a kid, my Mom had a guy come over and run some cables through the attic of our house.  I could hear him bumping and scrambling through the network of beams and insulation, slowly inching across the ceiling of my bedroom toward the corner of the house.

Then there was a crunching sound, followed by a muffled, “Oh, s**t.”  Then his arm shot through the ceiling of my room.  Wedged up to the shoulder, the arm twitched and flailed for a few seconds, then disappeared back into the attic, leaving a nice, jagged hole.

I suspect that if this nifty gadget had been around back then, the cable guy’s accident could have been avoided:

This is the Ceiling Saver.  When unfolded, this little device creates a nice 12″ x 48″ working platform designed to protect ceilings from mislaid hands, feet, knees, arms, tools, and other items.  Made of high-impact, textured plastic, it can support up to 250 pounds.  The bottom consists of grooves (2 1/2 inches deep) designed to rest firmly on most rafters spaced at 24 inches.

Magnetic areas on the platform secure items such as loose screws or nails.   This, to me, is a big plus.  I hate digging around in insulation – itchy, nasty stuff.

 

 

When folded, the Ceiling Saver is lightweight and easy enough to carry right up into the attic.

Billy Carmen of ProductNewsChannel.com reported on this item at the 2009 National Hardware Show:

I like it!  And I want one!  I have no intention of falling through my ceiling anytime soon.  And at $69.99, this looks like a bargain!

by John Barker

Written by editor on May 27, 2010 at 12:06 pm
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Safety is My Primary Concern

Want to know what happens when you cross a van moving at 35 miles-per-hour with a construction guy using a bulldozer to remove a metal guardrail?

This:

 

That’s my van.

And this, used without proper safety measures, is the instrument of my van’s destruction:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/canvasmag/ / CC BY 2.0

Okay, so the bulldozer involved in my accident was a little bigger than this one.  A lot bigger, actually—though it was still small by real ‘dozer standards.  But you get the point

Due to the current legal situation (and the fact that I would like to get my van either repaired or replaced), I’m not going into details concerning the company at fault or the location of the accident.  But I will shed a little more light on the scenario.

It seems that the guy running the bulldozer was somehow tugging on the length of guardrail.  I can’t quite picture how, but that’s mainly because all I registered when driving past were a couple of guys—one on the ‘dozer—doing something about 30 feet off the road.

Then my van slammed to the left (point of impact on the right shoved me over slightly), all power shut down, and there was the horrible metallic ripping sound augmented with smaller impacts as the rail bounced in and out of my vehicle.

I slid the van out of traffic and assessed the situation.  And the first thing I noticed was this:

Whatever had hit me had punched THROUGH my van.  I got out (now the most pissed-off human on the planet) and looked at the rest. 

To make a long story short, it appears that the guardrail was still somehow bolted to its cement foundation.  When the workers tried to move it, the bolt snapped and the whole rail shot away from the ‘dozer—and into traffic.

I’m glad nobody was sitting in my passenger seat, orwe’d probably be looking at a catalog of artificial legs.

My favorite part of the entire incident?  That’s easy.

The guy who wrecked my van by whip-lashing 30+ feet of guardrail into traffic with a bulldozer had a sticker on his helmet that read: “Safety is my primary concern.”

by John Barker

Written by editor on May 22, 2010 at 12:39 pm
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Serious Safety

Normally I try to find the humor in any situation.  But when it comes to electrical safety, I’m having a hard time.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been zapped so hard by a theater light (a can for you theater and film folks out there) that I flew roughly 15 feet across a room and woke up 15 minutes later.  At least that’s what my friends saw.  I don’t remember anything but a fuzzy feeling—then waking up with a bunch of people staring down at me like I was some sort of lab experiment.

These videos show just how scary electricity can be.

 

That’s no small zap – that’s a frickin’ explosion!

Electricity can also do its share to weed out stupid from the gene pool.

Okay. I lied about not being able to find humor in electrical safety.  It’s impossible for me to say serious for too long.  Take these guys, for example:

Yeah.  I’m an asshole.  I’m sooooooo guilty of doing that same bit…

I’m going to leave you with a video showing how electrical engineers cook hot dogs:

Pass the mustard and slaw.  1.5 Amps for 60 seconds apparently makes for one fine dog.

by John Barker

Written by editor on May 12, 2010 at 9:53 am
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Sledgehammer Humor

Sledgehammers aren’t usually thought of as funny, not do they even try to look cuddly.  They’re designed to do damage, plain and simple.  As such, great care should be taken when using a sledgehammer.

For instance, it is important to make sure no one is in your swing-zone:

It is also important to place your demolitions package on the ground instead of attaching it to the head of the sledgehammer itself:

Of course it goes without saying: don’t try that at home.  That guy was a professional . . . of something other than explosives and sledgehammers.

Here’s a more productive way to use a sledgehammer.  And while it looks like a great workout, it also looks insanely silly.  I highly recommend you check out what’s happening at the 3:30 mark.  It made my day.

What is to be learned from the cautionary videos?  That’s easy.  Use a sledgehammer to bash walls down—not people, explosives, or a randomly placed tire.

by John Barker

Written by editor on May 4, 2010 at 12:08 pm
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Extreme Changes Coming

We recently reported on one of the many Extreme Makeover families facing foreclosure. Now it looks as though the show is going under construction.

Don’t start yelling, “Move that bus,” just yet. This makeover will probably take more than 7 days. However, changes are coming. The Wall Street Journal says that producers plan to scale back the show a bit. So instead of giving away mini mansions, recipients may actually receive houses which they can afford to live in.

“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition has always strived along with our volunteer builders to create not only ‘extreme’ homes, but homes that work for the owners for years to come,” a show spokesperson said. “As always, we are striving to build greener, more affordable and environmentally responsible homes, and redoubling those efforts for years to come.”

 

So a bowling alley isn’t green? Probably not. Apparently, it’s also not very cheap to maintain. As a result, many Extreme homeowners have been struggling with tax and utility bills.

 According to producers, the show will attempt to downsize — in square footage as well as amenities. “I think our hearts were in the right place, but we just got carried way,” says Tracy Hutson, one of the show’s on-camera interior designers. “It can be extreme without being the biggest house you’ve ever seen.” They will also continue to look for economic and earth-friendly products to incorporate into each home.

By Rachel Cericola

Photo Credit: © ABC/Bill Matlock

Written by editor on April 7, 2010 at 1:06 pm
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Demolition Derby

There’s something . . . I dunno . . . soothing in the word demolition.  Probably because I enjoy smashing a sledgehammer through drywall.

But let’s face it.  Most of the demolition we Fix-It-Yourself-ers will be involved in is small fry:  stuff like ripping out framing, tearing out insulation, or tearing a roof off of a house.

And that’s probably a good thing.  Big time demolition takes a lot of skill and know-how.  But even the pros make mistakes.  And when they do, they’re quite spectacular.

I was lucky enough to be on site when they demolished the old City Hall building in Orlando for Lethal Weapon 3.  It was quite an explosion, and though the building went down as planned, it also blew out a bunch of windows in nearby buildings – including the new City Hall.

Here’s how it looked in the final film:

And here’s another good one.  Even I know that you start at the top when using a crane to demo a building.  Apparently this guy didn’t.  Couple that with the crane being too short, and you have a problem:

I saved the best for last.  This is what I would consider a major mistake—and it looks just plain odd.

If I worked for that demo company, I’d scramble to get my company name and logo off of that building!

by John Barker

Written by editor on March 31, 2010 at 12:22 pm
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